End of our Vacation pictures

Hayden ready for cake

Celebrating Aunt KK's birthday

Kenzie and Hayden playing with the sidewalk chalk.

Besides her daddy Hayden LOVES her uncles like no others!!  They are her adoring fan club!!  (we miss you guys already)

Laying a BIG goodbye smooch to Uncle Rick!! 

Uncle Jay getting his smoochy on from Hayden.  He will hate this picture I am sure.  So look now, because it might be gone by tomorrow.

We actually have few pictures of the 3 of us together.  We love being at the beach and feel so fortunate that we have such a lovely place to visit throughout the year and to have time with the Uncles, the most generous hosts ever, and I think they have no idea how much we love to see them and how much we LOVE them!!  Thank you for 17 days of bliss(well most of it was blissful)  I love that Hayden will grow up knowing the beach and having such fond memories of visiting her uncles and their lovely house.  This is something I did not have as a child and I love that they offer that to her on a silver platter!!  It won't be long and she won't want David and I going and cramping her LA style with her uncles!!  LOL

Stay tuned.  Tomorrow is our one year anniversary of becoming a family of 5!!  In some ways I can't believe a year has passed and in other ways I have no memory of my life before being Hayden's mommy.  It was an intense day for all of us.  Mostly of long awaited pleasure for us, but such pain for our sweet girl.  I look back at those pictures of that day and it brings tears to my eyes thinking how sad and traumatized she was to leave the only mother she had ever known.  It is now those same eyes I look into each day that are filled with curiousity, wonder, confidence that I know and love so well.  We have personally decided to not actively celebrate this day in our family.  We made that choice because it is what works for our family.  I do not judge those who make a different choice.  When Hayden is old enough to have an opinion about the matter that may change.  But right now I do not want to celebrate a day that will always remind her of her adoption, her difference, her reasons for being our daughter(she has enough reminders)  Again while it brings such happiness to me that I have become the mommy to the most amazing child on the planet that I love so intensely that it hurts sometimes, again it just reminds me that we need to celebrate our blessing in our hearts...because that is what she has filled!!

I will try and have my post done.  I am trying to decide whether I will post my letter that I have written Hayden on here.  This is to some degree a scrapbook for her, and someday she might look back and not appreciate that I shared those feelings with the outside world. 

Anyway, just know as David and I go to bed tonight we will never forget that a year ago we woke up to one of the most amazing experiences of our life, and one that we are so grateful and thankful to be allowed to experience.  We both know that our adoption journey was long and winding.....but we were meant to be Hayden's mommy and daddy, and it took the long and winding road to our happily ever after!!